Lepeacoat

It’s not the end of the world but my wisdom tooth is just absolute pain right now. I’m so scared because I know the tooth next to it is going bad too and the pain is probably linked.

Is it gay that I keep daydreaming of babies to keep my fear and pain at bay? My own babies that is 😳

I’m in pain and I’m gay.

Oh my god.

Get outta here!

Haha

I don’t like it when people that hurt me are happy or look happy.

Haha oh god, get over it.

Just an immature confession.

😜

My dad and I were doing so good until he went ahead and put the toilet scrub in the sink on top of our toothbrushes.

I called him out and was like what the fuck? You don’t do that. Ok, he was mopping but didnt he like think, “oh, this is a toilet scrub, better keep the little top of it and move it to the side.” Not throw it in the sink where the top fell off and the bristles were nestling with our toothbrushes and my foundation brush. Seriously.

Then he uses an old ugly mop that has been outside for god knows how long and what do you know? There are maggots on it. So now there are maggots sprinkled on our kitchen and hallway.

I’m messy. I’m disorganized. I have a shit load of crap everywhere. But never ever do I have creepy crawlers in my room. I once found a spider and couldn’t sleep until I rearranged my whole room.

That’s what he fired at me. So I told him, I’m just like you. I learn from the best. I have shit everywhere, well guess what? So do you. We have tools in kitchen drawers and pantries. There should be spices and pots and pans but no, it’s all tools of his.

Then today, he was pissed off still. He proceeds to hit our dog who climbed in through the window. Our dog is so scared for his life that he pees and poops on the floor. I save him and he’s trembling in my arms. I don’t even yell at my dad.

I simply say to him: you’re so cruel to them. You’re just so so cruel and I don’t understand. They don’t understand one single thing you say. It’s completely stupid and cruel.

Which he says to me that how else was he going to get him out? Am I going to keep him in the house? He’s not. He’s not an animal, why should he live with animals. No wonder I don’t mind, I live like an animal anyway.

Mind you, he was the one who got us the dogs after our other 2 ran away. We didn’t ask for them. We didn’t beg for them. He was the one who decided on new dogs.

I’m done. I’m done with my dad. I’ll never live to whatever standards he has. He’s never known us. He thinks that the mere fact that he exits is enough. He’s shit on my moms dreams. He’s still living in this repressive uptight 1970s Mexico world. Too bad, you chose to come here. You chose to educate us here. We think for ourselves. We know family is much more than just two people procreating. This is what you chose for us. Not once in my life did you ever ask what I liked, what i dreamed, what I feared, what I loved, why I smiled, why I cried, why I fought. Not once. Ever. And when I told you, I got nothing. And when I tried to make you proud, I got nothing.

I am done.